DvP026

I offer some notes on “John’s” script reading as he calls me from the air duct cleaning company.

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DvP025: Infinite Fun

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly…

.

Jennifer and Ryan are the crack marketing team at what appears to be Complete Home Services… or is it Infinity Duct Cleaning?

Jennifer is a patient person, with limits.

Ryan is a whiz at company names and websites, but sucks at telephone numbers and addresses.

What their “company” can offer you:

• Air Snake Brush ™
• They Clean the Ductwork AT your house!
• They have a website (hacked or not) that will offer the “abortion pill”
• Company phone number given only to interested customers
• They will call you when you need them
• They can give you the best service
• You can trust them…. they say so themselves!
• DNC list? What’s that?

Serge is frustrated by Jennifer, Ryan and the likes of them. He has since had to rename his company to Mercury Duct Cleaning, thanks in part, to their crazy shenanigans. I will give him the benefit of the doubt… for now.

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DvP 024: Eco Energy Home Services

I receive yet another Duct Cleaning phone call from a “company” with the very imaginative name of “The Duct Cleaning Company” but they hang up before I can have any sort of real deep conversation about marketing, websites and SEO with them.

Later, I receive a call from an actual company that apparently has a brick and mortar ‘store front’ here in Toronto. Eco Energy Home Services has returned to my phone even after telling them that I do not want calls from them and reminding them to consult the DNC list over a year ago. Memories are short for this company apparently…. or they just don’t give a crap.

Cheers!

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DvP023: Stank Kat!

Here’s a quickie for your Friday afternoon listening pleasure.

Comes complete with a story! You lucked out “Rich”. (see this comment)

Direct Link to DvP023.mp3

DvP 022

A different kind of call this week from a telemarketer selling home security monitoring. He claims to be from Chubb Edwards and clearly is not. Thanks for subscribing and thanks for the kind tweets and comments.

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DvP 021: Hercules Hercules Hercules !

A series of phone calls from my friends over at Hercules Pharmacy.

The audio equivalent of Viagra and an interview for a co-host.

Thanks for listening!

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From the Hercules Pharma website. Notice the spelling.

DvP 020 A New Record

I achieve a new record in “helpful” to “cussing” speeds by a telemarketer.

Happy New Year!

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DvP 019 ED

This week on Doug versus the phone, a telemarketer calls into the podcast as we are talking about erectile dysfunction. He seems a bit confused.
Thanks for listening.

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DvP 018

Victor turns Down Rush tickets as he seems to have called in to some sort of a morning zoo radio show.

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DvP 017

EDIT: As wisely pointed out to me by the chief Doug vs the Phone  Historian, the Maharaja Mack Daddy, this is, as it turns out, a clip show that I have unwittingly put together thinking that I had not released these clips. I apologise to the ghost of Calvert Deforest and to you, my loyal listeners for this oversight. Please feel free to skip this… or enjoy it in its new packaged form.

While cleaning out my call recording inbox, I came across two calls from the same non-existent company.
Paramount Heating wants me to get my ducts cleaned and I want the sales force to help me with the podcast and maybe deal with more than dust in the vents.
Enjoy.
BTW, thanks to MMD and many others for the great comments over the past little while. They are certainly appreciated.

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