DvP 008

2nd episode in a week! And 2 calls on my first day off work. They must have known I was going to be bored with nothing to do.

direct link to mp3

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2 Responses to DvP 008

  1. Junior says:


    Go into the call with a backstory you’re going to act out, like – in the case of the duct cleaning guys – “I’ve misunderstood you and think you have offered to clean my DUCKs”; you play along with them benignly, rather than demanding details about who they are and where they’re calling from, and instead of getting their made up bullshit answers or no answer at all to those questions, you let them slowly discover that you are talking about a DUCK. You can ask questions like what they do with dirty feathers, how many they can clean at once, whether the process is loud, will it hurt the ducks, etc; you can ask why you’d engage their services rather than just “taking ’em out back and hosing ’em off like I do every Saturday”, etc. Let them slowly come to the realization that you are talking about something fundamentally different. For truly hilarious results, you might go with a “Doug cleaning” miscommunication.

    As for the Windows guys, you could do something along the same lines. The possibilities are endless. When they ask you to sit in front of your keyboard, you could pretend you’re sitting in front of a piano keyboard. What’s at the bottom left? Why A two octaves below middle C! Or a burrito sauce stain – do you know how to clean that, by the way? Take everything they say as literally as possible. If they tell you the computer is downloading a virus, tell them you are reluctant to touch it because you don’t want to get gonorrhea. Or tell them God appeared to you in a dream and told you to follow the precise instructions given to you by the very next person who called you on the phone, keep referring to “the prophecy”, invite them to sing a hymn with you, etc.

  2. bigdaddyhank says:

    I LOVE Junior’s ideas… ; )

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